reposing_rhythm

 if there's one thing i wish for this 2011,
it's to be able to let go. 

 a man steps out from the dark. a women curls up inside. a boy stops in the middle of the field. a tear falls from her eyes.
when, they ask. when will it ever be universal, when will it be the common privilege of all man. when will we be able to hold hands around the world. when will the dark fade from light. when will the snow show us the meaning of warmth, not leave us dangling in the cold. when will the divisons change when will we be able to move this earth we live on. 
"so what if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul in the process" is there a point in all of this if we've not gained back our humanity?
only the powerful lose wars but make peace.

 i want robocup worlds back again. i miss those days.

comment from youtube:
This speech is probably the most thought-provoking I've ever heard or watched. Her natural humility, kindness and honest vulnerability combined with her intelligence and writing skills just sets it apart. JK Rowling is simply an amazing person, I've never really had any sort of "idol" or "hero" growing up, but I think you would be hard put to find a better role-model than her.

i fear failure. talent and intelligence does not inoculate one from failure.

the benefits of failure. as you stand on the threshold of what's called real life, i want to install the importance of imagination.

it doesn't hurt, it just sucks.

 nine.
some say it's the lead on to 10, some say things are drawing to the end but 12 times of the time that just passed later, we'll still be forever.

there are somethings words can't describe. some moments that just feel so familiar yet new. every month's unique, and everytime we do this is a different time, different environment different things going on in our lives. but one thing i know, whenever we do this we go back to that first place we know, and we go back to the why when and hows. because sometimes that matters more than any what. because we know what this is about and that makes it real, that makes it so so real. <3

i've been thinking about you, thinking about me, thinking about us,
what we're going to be
it wasn't, just a dream(:

one thing THIMUN's taught me:
never expect, never anticipate, never want. whatever you're given's what you're given do it to your best and things will work out in the end. had quite abit of time to think through the year today, and i realised that i've been denied what i want or what i long for way too many times. gotta learn to just accept it for 2011, new environment new people new jobs new tasks new challenges. you can't always get what you want.

realised how much i actually missed you these 2 days, how much i miss smsing you during jobs and just knowing how're you doing.

 because they say love makes one look silly,
only silly people dodge and hide away from love.

i guess i've owed you too many words, too many posts that i've tried to replace with pictures. they paint a thousand words, but they'll never sound the same as words from the heart. i wanted to save this as a recollection, not bits and pieces of a journey that'll prove to be the start of a transition.

9/11/2010
it's never easy waiting for the storm. for some reason, the calm always seemed to be the cold and the storm always seemed to be stove. always sucks knowing what's coming up but not being able to do much about it. sitting around with deep breaths trying to push time along so it'd all be over sooner never worked but i guess in the end the waiting game's always more important than the starting shot. you could wait a life time to run the race or run the race after waiting a whole life time, the mental game was always more important. let's bring the hail of lead.

10/11/2010
nat what's wrong with you. everyone's celebrating, jumping up and down, knowing that the worst has gone and the seas are calm. yet you lay here thinking about what's to come. the adversity. the hazards the problems the troubles the new waters to come. you fear the new experiences you dread the new environment you just want to stay in stay away and stick to where you've thrived. take things lightly once in awhile will you, sheesh. the paper was alright i guess, i know that i'm in trouble for paper two but there's really no use going back on it now. looking for closure, looking for some way we can call it game over yet high school never seems to end.

it really feels so peaceful around you, it has always been peaceful around you. i can't recall a single time i've seen your face and not felt this way and tonight just made it so much stronger. doing something different, doing what normal people would do in normal day life just feels so right around you it's amazing. everything falls into place just so well.

gradnight '10
翔, as cheesy as it sound when they first announced it, i guess it really made sense. to take flight, to rise above it all, to take off, to fly. i guess what differentiates a party from a grad night is the number of years, hardwork, sweat tears friendships brotherhoods experiences memories that lay behind them. the chaos, the misconduct and all the mess, it's once in a lifetime. it's about the people i guess, the ones we cherish the ones we want to remember forever. high school never ends. there's just something about putting a meaningful song out. there's just something about singing your heart out to the people that actually care. doesn't matter if 400 of them are outside camwhoring or inside messing up the place. them 31 and the teachers who made this place what it is were the ones who mattered, and they were the ones who gave me reason for it. you stand there, guitar, mic, spotlight and all. pitch perfect, loud, hours of rehearsal. but nothing comes close to the emotions that go into it. without that, nothing else matters. it was a really awesome night, finding people i've ignored for a long time, trying to capture memories and seal bonds with photos when really they've already been sealed in time, somewhere deep beneath the layer we know.

perfect days in imperfect ways. i hate it everytime things go well and then turn sour in an instant. the very first time without anything real to do and we made it, and we connected and we talked and we got deeper than we did before. we got closer to got more real and it felt like so much was learned. from stupid things like the overweight badminton racket to stalking to just talking to the weird dinner and baking and shopping for things and the movie and everything. it just falls into place when i'm with you. i didn't mean to screw things up, i never did. but it doesn't give me a reason to be allowed to. ily<3

 1 Thessalonians 5:18
Give thanks in all circumstance, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

it's a battlefield

 in about an hour it'll be graduation day.

without the glam, without the sharkfinless food, without anything of that. tomorrow's graduation where we started, how we started. i guess in so many ways circles do really go round and round, all ends meet at the end of the day.

i still remember SOO'07, looking at the older guys then, wanting to be one of them wondering what's a council wondering what lay ahead. it seemed ridiculous that when seniors talked to us they'd tell us the importance of this and that and tell us about their lives stories, yet less than half of them ever stay in our heads. but for those that do stay, it just seems like they shape the way we view sec school life and they way we've lived it.

tomorrow's graduation, the one i'd treasure most of all. no ceremonies, no nothing. just lessons, assembly and report card. in a way it's back to basics, back to the essentials of the school we know. we're back to what matters in so many ways. it's been an adventure, a journey. a thousand miles starts with a single step, now that we're at the end of 4 years will we look back and regret every single step? just 4 short years and so many experiences, so many lessons so many wonderful people. so much to take in so much to keep in so much to remember. i don't want to forget high school like i've forgotten pri school. i don't want to leave any of this behind i don't want to let it go. it isn't the results nor the product nor the awards nor the achievements that hold me back here, it's the memories, the endless hours in the lab, the countless sleepless dawns and sunrises in the school compound, the side of the campus not many have seen the little things like the direction of the grass somehow always pointing in the same direction. the statue and the unique way the corrosion's laid out. the classrooms that seem so much like bedrooms. it's the little things in hc that has captured my heart in a big way.

i guess i'll save all of this for the real grad night. but for me, i graduate tomorrow and i leave this town behind.